Yes, it’s that time of the year again. Everyone gets all nostalgic and thoughtful and … yes, I’m one of those people. Naturally, I’m always dreaming of the future (sometimes too much). During the year it’s all been so ‘go, go, go’ and before you know it, December has hit and I wonder where the time has gone. So I conciously put some time aside to reflect. I have a tendency to get bogged down in focusing too much on the future – creating goals and achieving them. I’m happiest when I feel like I’m making progress. I’m ever so impatient to get where I want to be. In some ways that can be good, but as a friend pointed out, when you do that, you never truly appreciate how far you’ve come or what you’ve achieved. It’s important to recognise that and reflect. Having your headspace set in the future, also means that you can get lost in the present – not ever really appreciating all that is around you in any given moment. And this leads into my new years resolution; to live my life embracing the present moment and to be patient.
This time every year I like to look back at where I was a year before. You can read my 2011 post on my very outdated tumblr here (which by the way, I’m thinking of reawakening). Last year was mostly one of healing. It marked the end of an almost decade long relationship – a painful end for the both of us, but a necessary one. By the end of it we were both clinging to each other for the fear of the unknown, but both so fundamentally unhappy. I was well and truly in a rut. I wanted more love, more passion, more adventure. I wanted to unearth the bigger, better version of myself and to do that I needed to let go of the safe and numbing cocoon I had built around me. I needed to change things up in order to fly.
2012 certainly has been a mixed bag of emotions. But one of excitement whilst on the pursuit of happiness. I’ve spent the year following my heart, living in the moment (or trying to) and pursuing passions. I have met so many people this year that have inspired me in more ways than even imaginable. If there is one term I’d use to sum up 2012 it would be ‘self-discovery’. I embarked on some exciting stuff. I’m in the process of rediscovering myself and I’ve reconnected with my inner creativity. New beginnings can be scary – especially when the decision involves putting yourself out there into a very public domain. It can make you feel vulnerable and naked. But I’ve learnt very quickly that there is no point fretting over what others may think – if you stay true to yourself and believe whole heartedly in what you are doing, nothing else matters. I feel completely remade as I work through this transition stage, and I look forward to building on what I have started. The endless possibilities actually overwhelm me with butterflies and good vibes.
I have a feeling, all the way down to the tips of my toes, that 2013 is going to be amazing. It starts off with a bang with a wedding in Australia and some much needed family time. I need to top up on a years worth of snuggles from my little nephew to get me on my merry way. So 2013, watch out – I’m ready for you. I’m ready for the highs and the lows – the thrills and the spills – I’m ready to grow.
I also just want to thank the people in my life who have supported me both emotionally and professionally this year. You know who you are, and you mean the world to me.